sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
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I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
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Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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