his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
