Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
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if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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