i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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