I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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