it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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