4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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