Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
