We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
