I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you never un-have a 4some
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
