just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
