The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
