We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
