I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
