I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
