I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
