we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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