He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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