Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I checked into jail on foursquare
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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