Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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