Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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