If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You ruined the universe
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
