I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
