R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize