Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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