cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
