I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
