that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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