Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
