She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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