just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
