It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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