On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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