She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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