that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
