Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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