At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
