Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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