so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
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Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
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He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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