Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize