I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
