shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
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I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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