my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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