i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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