How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
