If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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