I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
