Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
