how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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