So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
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Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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