He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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