I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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