omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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