I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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