Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
