I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Quick, to the slutcave!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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