Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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