I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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