if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
